Thursday, September 25, 2008

5 New Commandments For Me...

1. Love thyself. This one comes first. Because single moms, if you don't love yourself you won't ever feel truly content and in turn, won't be able to give 100% of yourself to your kids or significant other.

2. Thou shalt not settle. You are a single mother and yes you have your hands full with responsibilities most single and childless men can't even fathom, but this does not mean you have to settle for anything less in a relationship. You are still an incredibly desirable woman. Yes, there will be obstacles and yes some men will shy away from beginning a relationship with you. But those who do dive in will be the best of the best, the cream of the crop - the men who really, truly love you.

3. Thou shalt not punish thyself. Depending on where you live, you may feel like you have a Scarlet letter seared across your forehead. A woman with a child and a bare left finger. You may be the object of disapproving stares or shaking heads.

4. Thou shalt not live in the past. Time does heal all wounds but only if you leave the past behind you. If you live in the past you will never be able to truly appreciate the future. This means you have to let it all go. Your ex-husband. The memories of what was or what could have been. Bury them. Let the good memories live on for your children but let the could haves, should haves and would haves fall by the wayside. With that said, it's also best not to obsess about the future. Just as day dreaming about men in the past can harm you, day dreaming about a knight in shining armor to rescue you can also be just as damaging. Learn to be content with who you are - in the now. Day by day. Moment by moment.

5. Thou shalt ask for help. This is, perhaps, my greatest challenge. Single mothers, by the very nature of our existence, are fortified in this uncanny strength. That strength gets us through the toughest days, the days when we don't know how we can go on. But it can also keep us from accepting help.

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